


Could you guys stop doing that?

by thedarkestdaisy



Category: Revolution (TV)
Genre: F/M, POV switch, Unbelievable amounts of UST, this wrote itself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 02:11:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4417028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedarkestdaisy/pseuds/thedarkestdaisy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Bass ended up at the bar on Comedy Night at The Cafe<br/>or<br/>Miles witnesses many awkward moments between Charlie and Bass that makes him uncomfortable</p>
            </blockquote>





	Could you guys stop doing that?

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [No Filter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4183407) by [thedarkestdaisy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedarkestdaisy/pseuds/thedarkestdaisy). 



Nora is inhaling her scrambled eggs when I broach the subject that's been on my mind for week.

“I think there's something wrong with Bass.”

She raises a sleep-bushied skeptical brow at me. “I think there's quite a few things wrong with Bass. I may even have a list of them around here somewhere.” She looks around the kitchen in mock seriousness before I roll my eyes at her.

“I'm not kidding. I've known the man since we were shitting in our diapers-” I try not to laugh at the immediate repulsion on her face when the words create a picture in her head. “so I can tell when he's bull-shiting me.”

“Okay,” she says, taking a long drag from her mug of coffee before clearing her throat. “Tell me what he's done that has you worried. Maybe I can help.” Nora smiles sweetly at me and it's all I can do not to pull her back into the bedroom to specifically show her how much I love her. Charlie is right; one day I'm gonna have to get down on my knee for this woman.

“Right. Well, he's been turning down a bunch of dates I've lined up for him. A few women at the office said he ditched them, that does not sound like Bass. It's been years since he's gone out to the clubs downtown looking for hookups. Hell, he's stopped coming to family dinners at Ben's. He has never skipped out on those!”

“Then maybe the problem is close to home.” She mutters under her breath while looking down at her near empty breakfast plate. I frown when she scratches the side of her nose and shifts her body to sit up straighter in the kitchen chair.

 

 

 _Charlie, Bass, and I are sitting on the back porch at Ben's house. There's a block party going on in the front and Rachel, Ben and Danny are wondering around eating barbecue and doing festival-like things. Charlie, Bass and myself have decided to forgo the celebration to get pickled enough to forget the 108 degree weather._

_Bass has already taken his shirt off an hour ago. Reaching into the cooler once in a while to dump ice on himself. Charlie is in her bathing suit running to jump in the pool every so often when she starts to pant and shift uncomfortably in the plastic chair she commandeered between the two of us. I watch the two of them in a buzzed haze from behind my sun glasses. Somewhere further down the street a cover band plays old rock and roll songs that all cover bands play in bars. Charlie thinks there's a list of songs they must know because those are the only songs bar bands know how to play._

_“It's so fucking hot outside!” Charlie complains for the fiftieth time. I roll my eyes but Bass grins at her. “Are we in hell? I think I can smell the brimstone.”_

_“If brimstone smells like barbeque, popcorn and cotton candy, then I don't think I'd mind hell too much. I mean you're all here with me so it can't be that bad.” Bass snarks at her._

_“God, I'm wet and disgusting all over,” Charlie laments before sitting up straighter and looking down. There would probably be a blush on her face if she wasn't already so flush and tinted pink. “Because of sweat. I'm all sweaty.”_

_“Me too.” Bass sighs before pulling two cold beers out of the cooler for them. When their fingers touch in passing he salaciously winks at her. Her jaw drops when he rubs his cool glass bottle over the front of his chest. She sits back in her chair and frowns at the sight._

_A not too terrible version of Joan Jett and the Blakheart's “Do You Wanna Touch Me” starts somewhere down the street. They're actually pretty good which means this is a new band singing because the last one sucked so badly I thought my brain was going to start leaking out of my ears. My leg can't resist shaking up and down to the song and I laugh to myself when I notice Bass drumming his fingers on the knee of his cargo shorts. Charlie's toes tap along and then I hear something small and gritty come out of her mouth._

_“My my my whiskey and rye. Don't it make you feel so fine. Right or wrong, don't it turn you on? Can't you see we're wasting time.” She's nodding with the beat and getting into it with a smile. “Do you wanna touch-”_

_Bass abruptly stands from his seat, sweat trailing down his skin in beads everywhere. “I think I'm going to go jump in the pool.” Then he stiffly walks to the steps of the porch and towards the in-ground pool before stepping in the deep end with an audible splash._

_“Really?” I turn to level Charlie with a stare._

_“I'm sure I had nothing to do with that.” Charlie sits back in her chair with a satisfied sigh._

_“If this is hell you're obviously the devil.”_

_She turns to look at Bass trying to drown himself in the pool and gives off the most evil little snicker._

 

 

I'm not a police detective just because I like those black and white film noir detective movies. I can read people somewhat well but I've known Nora since we were randy teenagers in high school. I can tell when she's being deceptive and sneaky.

Like right now, for instance.

“Alright Nixon, spill the beans.” I narrow my eyes and focus hard on her to make sure she feels the heat of my gaze. She squirms in her chair like a worm on hot asphalt after a rain. Her mouth twists and her nose crinkles in adorable- wait no, I mean sexy!- lines of defeat. She sighs and her shoulders drop. 

“Ya know Mia has this friend that his head over heels in love with him. I've seen them together a few times through out the years. It's obvious he's besotted with her and she's been pining over him forever.” Nora shrugs again and one caramel smooth shoulder pokes through the neckline of my t-shirt and I want to reach over and- hold on, besotted? She's joking, right?

“Besotted?!” I laugh so deep my stomach aches. “What, does he want to rip the bodice of her dress, too?” Oh my God, laughing too hard. Can't breathe. Chest pain. Might die.

“I think they'd both be into that,” Nora casually remarks with a secretive grin once I can control my breathing.

 

 

_The sky is exploding with fireworks and Charlie, Bass, and I are watching the sparkly night explosions from Ben's backyard occasionally letting Charlie steal sips of our beer. It's tradition that we have watermelon every Fourth of July and right now she's slurping and munching on a huge piece._

_“Ew! Bass!” She complains with a whine and we both turn to look at her. “I'm getting all sticky!” My brows raise when I take in the complete mess she's become. Juice runs down her chin and mouth in streams and she reminds of a toddler and not the twenty two year old that she is. But Bass also has a piece in his hands and he's having an even harder time trying not to look as wet and disgusting as Charlie. They both have the table manners of a dog._

_“Well, me too.” He says around a mouth full of the juicy fruit. “What do you want me to do about?”_

_“Cut it into edible pieces next time! You always make it so big that I can hardly finish it off!”_

_I inhale my beer and try to stealthily wipe away the drops of alcohol coming out of my nose. I wonder if it sounded that dirty in her head as when she said it aloud?_

_They both stop and look at each other, taking in the stickiness and sweet juices running down each others hands and arms and chins._

_“Next time you can help me. Show me how you like it so you won't be so displeased next time.” Bass says quietly._

_The air around us feels odd and I no longer want to be standing near them for much longer._

_“Okay,” I say slowly, unable to get their attention away from each other. “I'm gonna go get another beer.”_

_And then I get the fuck out of that awkward bubble._

 

 

“Okay. I give. Who is it?”

“Promise you won't be mad.” 

When I frown at her she tilts her head and raises her brow again.

“Fine.” I cave. “I promise I won't be mad.” 

Please don't be who I think it is, please don't be who I think it is, please don't be who I think it is. 

“Charlie.” 

Well, shit. I open my mouth to say something but I don't have a response ready yet.

 

 

_Rachel and I are arguing over the War on Drugs- I have no idea, we just like to fight with each other- when the glass door to the kitchen slides open and a soaking wet version of my niece shivers when the air conditioning hits her skin as she steps inside. She looks like a drowned puppy._

_“Charlotte Jane Matheson!” Rachel turns on her with a growl. “You're dripping all over the floor!”_

_“Well if I'm dripping everywhere it's Bass' fault! He pushed me in the pool!” Charlie explains with the machismo of a tattle-teller. When Bass comes up behind her with a shit eating grin she shifts slightly and steps back to elbow him in the ribs. It doesn't affect him the slightest, but if possible, maybe his grin becomes wider._

_“Everything is fair and love and war, doll.” He says to her with a laugh when she turns to glare at him._

_Rachel rolls her eyes and leaves in a huff mentioning something about towels and hard-wood floors._

_She holds her hand up and counts off fingers, “One- that line is soooo overused. Come up with something better. I know you only got about two neurons firing up there so they're working extra hard but you used to be pretty good a the trash talk. Two- now that you've tainted the treaty with unfriendly fire I feel that the next battle will make you rethink your little war.” Then she moves completely into Bass' personal space like it's nonexistent to her. When she squares off with him his grin drops immediately. “And three- I'll get you back.” her hand comes up to give him a little non-moveable shove but I'm surprised when it knocks Bass back a step. “I will get you back so fucking hard you'll be down on your knees in front of me. Begging and sobbing for my mercy on you.”_

_Woah._

_Wait, what the shit_

_For some odd reason I feel like a third wheel. The way they are looking at each other makes my head hurt. Any second, they look like they're going to snap and beat the shit out of each other or something. I should probably step in but I think that would be the equivalent of trying to stop two ferocious dogs from tearing each other apart._

_“Ahem.” I clear my throat but it would appear that I no longer exist to them. “I gonna go see if Ben needs a potty break from the grill.”_

_I give the two a wide berth as I walk around them._

 

 

“Are you mad?” She asks warily. 

“I promised I wouldn't be.”

“Well yeah,” she giggles. “But are you?”

No. I think I've seen this coming for a long time now. Charlie and Bass where probably made for each other. I was expecting this would feel like getting shot in the head with a bullet the size of a small mid-sized luxury sedan but it just feels like that little moment of shock one gets after they quickly rip a band-aid off tender skin.

“Actually. I'm a little relieved,” I admit. “They've been running marathons around each other for years. And when they talk to each other the simplest of conversation sounds dirty. Any time I catch them looking at each other it's like they're already have sex with one another in their heads. When we hang out they kind of gravitate toward each other and if they sat or stood any closer they would be on top on another.”

“Well, I'm glad you approve. You do approve, don't you?”

“If you're asking me if I'm going to kill him and defend Charlie's honor, the urge hasn't hit me yet.”

She nods sagely and moves to collect our dirty dishes from the kitchen table. As she rinses the plates off in the sink she looks over her shoulder and offers the idea, “You should tell him to come to the bar tonight.”

“She gonna be there?” I know Charlie does stand-up every once in a while and hangs out with Nora's little sister Mia. Mia is a terrible influence. There is a reason why Charlie gets along so well with her.

“Yes. I also heard from Mia- who heard from her friend Adam, that she might be doing a very therapeutic set tonight.” There is an evil grin on her face that reminds me of the hellion she use to be in high school.

“What the hell is a therapeutic set?”

“It's like spilling the beans without making a mess.”

“So, you want to make them confront each other? Is that what you're getting at?” I frown. This sounds like a terrible idea. This sounds like planting a bomb and waiting for it to blow up.

“Yup.” She nods her head energetically, excited with her underhanded match-making.

“I don't think I want to be there for that.” I shake my head slowly, mocking her just a bit.

“Well, you're obviously not going to show up.” She explains. Gears and cogs shifting in her mind as it hatches a plan.

Just because I'm on deck with this doesn't mean I'm going to enjoy it. 

 

 

_Bass, Danny, and I are sitting at the dinning room table as Rachel puts the finishing touches on dinner in the kitchen. The front door opens and closes and I think it's Ben until I hear Charlie's voice. I look up at her from my conversation with Nora on the phone to salute her. Danny stands up and pulls her into a hug that lifts her off her feet and makes her squeak. Bass mutters a hello, red pen in his mouth as he shuffles through a stack of essays._

_“You brought the classroom to dinner? Mom's gonna be mad.” Charlie remarks as she takes her official seat next to him._

_“Rachel is too concerned with her lasagna to worry about my work life.” He says absent mindedly as he runs his fingers across the words on a sheet of paper. He snorts at something before underlining it in red and scribbling a note in the margin._

_“I would hate reading about the same subject in fifty different mind numbing versions. Must be hard.” Danny giggles when she steals Bass's beer who in turn just gives her a look of defeat before shrugging his shoulders._

_“It is hard. Sometimes I get stiff,” he says while swiping his fingers along the back of his neck. “Sometimes it becomes so hard I can't focus and my hand always cramps up before I can finish.”_

_She looks down at his lap and snaps her eyes up to his face blushing fiercely before downing the rest of Bass' beer._

_“Professor-ing sounds hard.” She says quietly afterwords._

_“It always is.” He flashes her an innocent smile and then goes back to his papers. His smile turning into something resembling the look he gets when he knows he's being a Magnificent Little Shit._

_When I look away from the two of them Danny mouths out “What the fuck was that?” His eyes wide and interested like he just witnessed an indescribable phenomenon. I shrug my shoulders and shake my head._

_“Could you guys just stop doing that?” I ask with exasperation._

_“Stop doing what?” They synchronize innocently before turning back to his paper and her turning to dig her phone out of her purse._

 

 

To Bass  
 **Nora wants us to come hang out at the bar with her tonight.**

To Miles  
 **I'm not going to meet some random female friend of yours that happens to be in town, will I?**

To Bass  
 **Nope, Just us and a few beers. Might go out for breakfast with Nora after she closes up.**

To Miles  
 **Fine. What time do you want to start this man-date?**

To Bass  
 **Be there at 10, honey. <3**

To Miles  
 **See ya later, shmoopy-pie! xoxoxoxox**

“Are you sure you aren't already dating each other?” Nora cheekily inquires while reading the messages from over my shoulder.

I growl at her and she blows me a kiss before running away into her bedroom. I chase after her.

**Author's Note:**

> A few of you were wondering how Bass ended up at the bar.   
> Also my brain was hijacked somewhere in the middle of writing Chapter 4 and forced this on me.  
> Hope you enjoy the blue lady-balls.  
> ;)


End file.
